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Our next Future victim is Skylar Ingram. Hes going to be a 7th Grader at some hillbilly school down in West Virginia (thats where he lives). Skylar likes to play baseball and football and completely sucks at both.
Skylars future starts out in 2010, one year after his graduation. He moves up here to Fort Wayne for good and becomes a Mailman. I dont know why he moved up here for that, but he did. Skylar starts wearing bikinis while delivering mail and begins to scare off everybody and instead of him macing them, he gets maced by everybody else. Even the dogs in the neighborhood go hide in their dog houses when he comes along. He soon gets fired for several cases of indecent-exposure because sometimes he delievered the mail in the nude and said he liked the feeling of the mail on his hiny.
| Heres what a regular mailman should look like |
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| Skylar didnt believe in the "mailmans uniform" |
Soon after being fired Skylar moved back to West Virginia and became a hillbilly again. He pondered the days without a job and stole many mopeds and skooters. He soon became known as the "Moped Bandit" and everybody feared him for some reason. (I guess hillbillys are scared of stuff like that). After 4 months of being the "Moped Bandit" Skylar gave it up and earned a total of 2 dollars and 57 cents from the scrap metal over the 4 months. Skylar now had enough to complete his lifetime dream of buying a KING SIZE Candy Bar and one Chocolate Milk.
| Skylars dream meal right here |
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| only took him 4 months to save up for it |
After his 2 minutes with his dream meal Skylar soon began to cry and curled up in a gutter. After he quit crying like a little pansy Skylar moved back up to Fort Wayne but half way through he wrecked one of his mopeds and was stranded in Dayton, Ohio for 5 years where he made a living as a parking lot attendent.
After his skit in Dayton, Ohio Skylar tried hitch-hiked up to Fort Wayne but never made it. While standing off to the side of the road, Skylar was holding his thumb out and the semi went by and cut it clean off. It wasnt until Skylar began to scream like a 9 year-girl when another semi came back and broke Skylars pinky toe. Skylar then started hobbling like a monkey and fell down a 240 foot cliff where he plunged to his death.
Skylar was 29 when he died. RIP Skylar.
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